Do What Matters Most

If you had 10 days to live what would you do?

 Would you attend events? Go on a crazy adventure? Eat all of that junk food you previously avoided? As bizarre as it may seem, many terminally ill individuals ask themselves this question regularly. Where some may see this as being dark and dreadful thoughts, I view the question more of a speck of reality. Despite constantly asking myself this question, I have never had a solidified answer. Would I visit family, friends and people I grew up with? Would I capture every moment with photographs? Would I skydive? Or would I simply live an average day? None of this was clear. Until I asked the right person, the person I love most. It appeared as though my answer was right under my nose the whole time. Despite constantly being told that beauty is found in simplicity, I often find myself lost soul searching in the most complex of places. Yet when I return to simplicity, I find true happiness. For instance with my last 10 days I would:

1. Marry the love of my life on the beach, and celebrate with family and friends, rain or shine.
2. Soak up sun rays while hiking and water rafting.
3. Record video messages of love and zest to 20+ people. 
4. Visit with other terminally ill patients in the hospital.
5. Write a movie script
6. Jump off of a cliff and be a beach bum
7. Create a video diary of my life
8. Deliver a speech of the pure joy of being terminally ill.
9. Write a witty speech to be read at my funeral to make sure the only tears are from joy.
10. Watch a sunset with my closest loved ones.

Whatever you would do in your last 10 days, remember the simple things. The sun hitting your face. Holding the hand of the person you love most and being childish for no reason. Living with a light heart doesn't have to be only for 10 days. Do what matters most to you.

Chronically Brave

Courage often is tested when we are forced to face the most difficult of situations. For the chronically ill, this is more often than not in the form of a hospital visit. Forcefully moving your feet along as you trickle down the bare white walls awaiting yet another test to describe your progress over the past few weeks is more daunting than a philosophy exam, and yes, those are frightening. Being a full time student and patient is a different experience than most are used to but in my opinion is the most rewarding. Escaping campus for the hospital, and then the hospital for campus allows the mind to never know what to think other than enjoy the bouncing back and forth. It's an odd life but it is the one we live together. We are strong. We are bold. We are brave. 

Keep Moving Forward

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths" -Walt Disney

It is in our darkest moments where even the dimmest light is significant. The idea of making progress when we are overcome with frustration, pain, and fear can be paralyzing but these are the moments in which decision is made as to how we will be defined. Just as giving in is a choice, so isn't being relentless in the belief that triumph is inevitable with hard work, determination, and perseverance. It is not that we do not possess the ability to fight back and be victories but that we merely make the decision to do what is easy over what is, in all actuality, right.

Just as we walk along a board walk and soak in the ocean's dew like a sponge, the people we surround ourselves with make a lasting impression, as we soak in their actions, words, and motivations (or the lack there of). Remain mindful of who you select to spend your time with and take a reflective moment to ask yourself if they are supporting or limiting your growth. Regardless of which outcome you choose, remember it was you who made the choice. Don't lose the hunger of achieving what it is that you are capable of in fear of standing out. You were born to stand out and not be average. Go down the new path in which your curious mind leads you and don't look back. Keep striding towards the sunrise and when it's time for it to set, prepare yourself the the gift of light in the coming day.

Alone?? Perspective Check!

Are we truly ever alone, or do we just convince ourselves that we are? Maybe it's the work done by the little devil on our left shoulder or our insignificant self-conscious self within piping in her two cents when we have deflated a bit and it is easiest. Either way, the question stands. Do we create barriers, blockading ourselves from the world because we perceive it as being easier then just putting forth the energy of a simple smile or friendly hello to engage in conversation? It's hard. It sucks. It makes us all roll our eyes. But why? Why is it acceptable to give up on ourselves- our goals- our dreams- our true desires- when we are drained of energy, are sick or when our days have just turned to complete and utter chaos?

Truth is, like anything else, we plant these feelings in ourselves. We choose to let that little devil appear and whisper sweet bullshit in our ears- better yet, we eat it up. Wanting to believe that it is impossible to always 'stay' or 'act' happy, that no one can truly be that overjoyed with life. Why not try? Why not put down that bowl of ice cream or easy-mac on a bad day and say "is this actually helping me- long term?" Best of all, I bet you justified it, huh? "Well today is really rough, and...well....I just need it." Bullshit. I've been there. I've said it but that self talk is as good as your little devil. Love yourself to tell yourself you're better. Say it out loud. Three times. "I am better. I am better. I am better." You may be thinking this is utter crap. You may be thinking what does an eighteen year old know about life. Maybe something, maybe nothing. Depends who you ask. What I am certain I do know is that sometimes we all just need a little insight. Whether your battle is minimal or monumental, it is still a battle. It still takes strength, perseverance and focus. And it is in these battles that we often find ourselves lost and in need of a little kick perspective check. So, if it's diet/exercise, a relationship, academics, an illness, etc. then my advice is to do what needs to be done--and with a smile; a smile always makes you feel better and your heart ache less.
Keep it simple. Keep it light. Keep it real.
...and always remember, you're not alone.

- Kate

Tidy Up Your Life, Today!

We all have those days: of being a complete and utter wreck or at least feeling like one! Nothing seems to look good, feel good or satisfy us in any way shape or form. On these days, it doesn't seem to matter how far we've come but only see the obstacle to the end. We look up at the giant wall we must climb without any safety ropes or gear. Nope, just us. You and the wall. Time to go up or sit there feeling defeated. When it comes down to it, those are our two options. So which are you going to choose? To feel terrible about yourself and be afraid to start the climb, one rock at a time OR are you going to say "oh well" and go for it. "No where to go but up from here!" It rolls off the tongue without much energy however seems Impossible to execute. But this is the thing, it SEEMS impossible to execute--in all actuality, it isn't. Although we don't see it this way, leading a healthy life- both mental and physical- is similar to cleaning. You can choose to be a slob and allow piles upon piles to accumulate, just to have to designate a full day or week to it OR you can do little pick ups here and there and feel great ALL the time. Choice is yours. Feeling amazing for 1 day versus 365....I choose 365 every time!!! It's all up to you. 
Do something great; be something great;  feel great!

- Kate

Society's Definition of Success???

Is it possible to set a goal and have it send a ripple of succeeding everything we've ever envisioned or imagined, for the rest of our days? Is it possible to just dream something and have it come true? Is it possible? We often hear "dream it, wish it, do it" as if it is the adequate combination for a perfect recipe leading to success and fulfillment. Could this actually work?

Seeing as it is my first year in college, I often reflect on my classes, major, school, etc. and ask myself the 'all important question' of, is this right for me? Should I be doing something else? Something bigger? Something better? The only answer I have concluded is this: "who the hell knows?" Society has convinced us all that it is essential to declare an extraordinary title and live up to it for the rest of our lives. 'Oh you chose politics? Well then it's only natural that you strive to be the president.' This dates back to the days of adolescent soccer where the coach would kick the ball and everyone would swarm to get their kick in, or paying their two cents, if you will. Although we as adults stand on the sideline wearing our grins and are outraged in laughter at the absurdity of the chaos and ineffectiveness, we constantly are doing this to ourselves/in our own lives. Can you think of a task (either at home-work-school-relationships-etc.) that you have gotten so engulfed in that you felt the need to swarm it from all angles that way you were certain that you at least got to pay your two cents and get your 'kick in'? Chances are, everyone is guilty of this in at least one aspect of their life. However, it isn't all bad. Sometimes it takes us getting involved and utterly preoccupied in the nitty-gritty in order to get THE wake up call, pick up our heads and find ourselves asking: "what the hell am I doing?" Some people are lucky and get their wake up call early in life, or in a light dosage; others get hit hard and find their experience to have more of an overdosing effect. This is what we call a midlife crisis people. (I can only imagine that amount of smirks and eye rolls I got to that) But I'm SERIOUS! We feel the need to title such instances to make them more socially acceptable. "Dosage: 1 per life, implement when deemed necessary." My question is why do we need everyone else's permission to rediscover ourselves? Shouldn't we take time each week-month or year (at the VERY least) to reevaluate where our lives are headed and/or who we are (or in some cases, are not)? Although we all like to see ourselves as philanthropists  at the end of the day, or lifetime, it comes down to what gave US pleasure, made US happy and what we wish WE could change about OUR lives. Usually people don't say "wow I wish I would have donated my life savings to fund uniforms for children in third world countries." And hear me out, I don't think it's a bad thing that we don't say such things. However I do think it's bad that we push away our own needs, dreams, desires and passions in order to meet societies satisfactions. It's time to take control of YOUR life and do what makes YOU happy, not what society would like to see of you.
Don't be afraid to change your path; as long as it is always aimed towards your passions.

- Kate

Change.

I believe in Change. I believe we are all capable of achieving greatness and surpassing the daily struggles of our daily lives. Most of us create a list of "goals" or "resolutions" however rarely achieve them. Why is this? Why is it that we allow ourselves to put the nonessential daily tasks before our long term goals which will make us happier, improve us as an individual or which lead to a thriving community? Instead of training for that marathon we wanted to run, we find ourselves struggling to make eating healthy a priority, constantly saying "I will start tomorrow". It is time for us all to stop watching our lives pass by us. It is time to take action. It is time to start now. It is time to make Change.

Change is something we all strive for, yet hesitate to actually do when we are given the chance. We want to lose those 'last ten pounds' or finally read that book a close friend recommended. Better yet, we use the same excuse to 'defeat' both topics. By saying, "Oh, I am WAY too busy to even THINK about doing that..." or "I WISH I could do something that amazing...". Does this sound like someone you know? Let's see...hmmm, maybe YOU? I am as guilty as the rest, which is why my resolution for this year was to master my mind. By delving into my own thoughts, feelings and discovering the motive for my actions, I have uncovered some of the most important facts, clues and motivations in my life which make a tremendous impact on both a daily and long term level. I have found a quick fix for the inevitable 'balloon deflating' feel is to pump yourself full of positive thoughts. Yes, we have all heard it is just as easy to say positive reinforcement as it is to be negative however have you ever thought how this may impact you? Have you ever thought how this simple solution may change your day-month-year-life? It's pretty obvious that if you wake each day and say, "Damn, I hate my life. It's utter shit. I suck. Ugh theses pants show my fat thighs...." and then you repeat them throughout the day. "This desk chair is uncomfortable. This person is walking slow. Great, now I only have ten minutes to eat lunch." Yeah, that was probably a pain in the ass to read, huh? Well, that is exactly how you sound! Your wake-up call is here; cut the shit! Even if you may perceive your life as being less then you want, expect or dream of- you need to face the fact that it is YOUR life. This means that since it is YOUR life that YOU ARE IN CONTROL! YOU have the power to make changes and tweak where you deem in necessary. YOU have the power to smile or frown. YOU HAVE THE POWER! Even if you may think it is a load of bull **** feed yourself some positive reinforcement. Just like parents don't let their kids eat junk food or say mean things to others- you should do the same for yourself. Don't let yourself eat the junk if you know your body will react negatively. More importantly, don't feed yourself words of negativity because "they take less energy" or "are naturally how you think" and instead convince yourself that your natural thoughts are that you are full of pride, joy and excitement. If you don't agree, then 'fake it till you make it!'
Keep your chin up and don't be afraid to take control of your destiny!
- Kate