It is remarkable how one year can completely transform your life. Well, what I should say, is that it is incredible how much life can transform in one year. The year of triumph is also the year of challenges, pain, struggle, suffering, doubt, and heartache. But like a storm, when the crashing of the waves eases, there is only serenity and subtlety.
From last spring until now, my life has seemingly been a series of crashing waves. Violently splashing its water against the rocks, it often felt that I was pinned between rock and thrashing waves, hardly able to gasp for air between the moments of violence. From the death of a fellow CFer, to my getting healthy enough to train for long distance runs and then it abruptly stopped with the birth of a double lung infection, to losing all previous passions and interests, to resigning from all involvement on campus, to getting another lung infection, to catching a severe virus, to being hospitalized, to struggling to maintain relationships and friendships, to feeling isolated, to being forced to drop a class, to changing jobs so I wouldn't have to hear that my friends commenting on not seeing me for months, to finally coming to the conclusion that taking a year off from school is essential to keep any remaining sanity.
Major decisions, such as taking time off of school and not graduating with friends is just one aspect of life with CF. As I tend to express, it [CF] is an incredible blessing and curse. It has allowed me to cherish every good thing that comes my way rather than focusing on the list above. The point of writing the list is to show that beautiful, peaceful, and sunny days only come after the storm is gone.
Live for today and find the glimpses of light...for even as it storms, the sun finds a way to shine through the thick clouds.
